He was sittin' at the bar
Sippin' on a regular Coke
We were drinkin' and smokin'
And makin' him the butt of our jokes

We all said, “Man, what happened to you?
Why can't you just have a few?”
He said, “I would if I could
But it's probably best that I don't”

'Cause the more I drink, the more I drink
Then I'm the world's greatest lover and a dancin' machine
I get loud, I get proud and it gets worse

Well, if I have one I'll have thirteen
Now there ain't no in between
'Cause the more I drink, the more I drink

A couple of cold ones
And somebody hands me a shot
Hell, even buck-tooth and bow-legged women
Start lookin' hot

And pretty soon I'm bummin' cigarettes
And sweet talkin' some big brunette
Yeah, once I get on a roll
Ain't no tellin' where I'll stop

'Cause the more I drink, the more I drink
Then I'm the world's greatest lover and a dancin' machine
I get loud, I get proud and it gets worse

Well, if I have one I'll have thirteen
Now there ain't no in between
'Cause the more I drink, the more I drink, the more I drink, yep, yep

Hmm, that's what I'm talking about

Man, if I have one I'll have thirteen
And they can't get me off the karaoke machine
The more I drink, the more I drink
Yeah, the more I drink, the more I drink, the more I drink